Saturday, November 7, 2009

On the Battle Field

Onto the battle field I march
Head strong and head first
Girded with the full Armor of God
Weapon in hand
And the sound of God's call in my ears
A mighty war cry rises up
And the battle begins
As I praise His Holy Name
He gives me strength to stand
To use his word as a mighty sword
The Holy Spirit abounds and strikes
Hitting the enemy with every buffet
The rythm of the war drum
Getting louder with each blow
The enemy succumbs to the Mighty One
His carnage has come to an end
As I stand victorious in battle
The enemy submits to The Holy One of Israel
A tremendous war cry is heard
And I lay prostrate before the LORD
Giving honor to Elohim, the Mighty God
And being renewed for the next battle
Stronger still after each victory

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Salvation Revival

Our church is having a revival this week to save the lost. The last week has been a whirlwind! I don't know how anything is getting done around here (a lot isn't).

The first 2 days of this revival, we have had 26 people saved. We have 6 churches involved that we can send folks to if they don't want to stay at our church. It's about building the kingdom, not the church and I love that.

People are being added to the Kingdom, healed and set free! I have seen miracles this week! Many people in the church are fasting, we are all praying and God is moving! I am so excited! Sunday night, I couldn't sit still. God is so awesome!

The gentleman over the bus ministry (my sweet husband lol) has been going into one of the worst housing developments in town and picking up these wonderful children. They so sadden me. Their mothers are sending them and I wonder why they would just send those children with people they don't know like that. (I know i couldn't-church folk or not) One child looks to be 11 or 12 and she is bringing her baby to church. There is such an emptiness in their eyes, an innate sadness almost. I just want to snatch them up and love on them. We gave them Bibles. As I gave one boy a Bible, another was trying to snatch it right out of his hands. This boy was not giving that Bible up! He kept looking at it like it was made of gold and the biggest prize he ever received. How many of us would say, "wow, it's just a Bible"?

The young boy was right. It is the greatest thing he had ever gotten. He just doesn't know how great it is-yet. My prayer is that one day, soon, he will understand that it is the bread of life, the sword of the spirit. A love letter from the Father that will never let him down, leave him, abandon or abuse him. What a gift!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

That's My King

I saw this a week or so ago and thought wow. That is good! I wanted to share it. It was so simple yet so powerfull!!!

Thats My King

I've been working on Women's Ministry stuff and have been quite absent from blog land. I'm excited about what God is doing and I can't wait to share! Hopefully I'll have time to complete the post soon.

Be blessed!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Saturday Evening Post

I found this blog through another blog that I follow.

Other bloggers are posting their favorite post from the last month. They are really great!

Be Blessed

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

My Home

I've been looking at all these blogs where women are posting pics of their homes. They are all so beautiful but I decided to put these up anyway. I will try to refrain from adding, "this is what I want to change in this room". I'll just say that I want to do some work around here when time and money allows. Also don't look at the walls in the livingroom pictures. I can't decide what to do with all that wall space-Any ideas would be appreciated! :)

This is the livingroom from the hall entrance way

Yes, my china cabinet is in the livingroom. No room in the kitchen. :)

My great grandmothers buffett. Needs work but I love it! Since I no longer have a formal dining room it doesn't get used as much for it's intended purpose. :(

My angel currio in the living room.

My Kitchen. The wall to the left just has pictures on the wall so I didn't take any pictures of it. My coffee pot is hidden by the refridgerator. The table is too long for this room but ours was broken in the move almost 2 years ago. Yes, my fridge has junk on it. Bible study stuff, kids Sunday School papers, chore sheets (lest the children forget) and the top needs cleaned but that is on next weeks chore list, sorry.

My oven is TINY! I have to cook our turkey in an electric roaster during the holidays. You can kind of see the hole where the dishwasher goes underneath the oven in this picture. It bit the dust so we had to start using our old portable one we had in our previous home.

More kitchen. I remember when my grandparents remodeled this room. The cabinets are dull to me but my grandmother loved them so I can't part with them yet. They were custom made to her specifications and they are very well made!

I didn't do my bedroom because it's just not done still. Nothing on the walls except a mirror that was there since I was a child! :) The back of the house is an addition and has this awful dark paneling that I'd love to cover or remove. The outside of the house has been posted here in different places so I left those out as well. I hope you have a great day!
Be Blessed!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I'll be Even More Undignified Than This

I was browsing through some blogs this morning and commented on a post. Basically I admitted that I embarrass my teenage girls. Yep, I do.

Now, if I'm honest, I have to admit that I am embarrassing ya'll. I will put on praise and worship music and by the worlds standards, I SHOW OUT!! I will clear the room ya'll!

You see, when the Bible says, "The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed; Luke 4:18, It's talking about me. I was saved, healed, delivered and set free.

I don't really care that I embarrass my girls. I'll be even more undignified than this. I feel like King David when he danced before the Lord and his wife disapproved sometimes (except I keep my clothes on) I love God so much that I dance (Psalm 150), I sing (I'm tone deaf and I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket! ), I lift my hands and just look out right goofy sometimes.

What I am concerned about is what my family sees in me. I want them to see me walk my faith out. I don't want to tell them how to live theirs out. It just doesn't seem effective to say this is how you walk it out. I think they need to see it, in action. They need to see you going to help the needy, praying for friends and strangers, worshiping with your heart and not just giving lip service. They need to see you minister to others and your relationship with the Savior. Lead by example. Do what I say and not what I do just doesn't work. I believe they need to see the love.

Will I always embarrass my children with my worship? No, I don't think so. My prayer is that they will embarrass me with theirs and mine will seem tame in comparison. I want them to love the LORD even more than I do. That my faith and yes, even my worship will be a testimony that will drive them to love more, worship harder, sing louder, dance faster, and pray without ceasing. I pray that as they see me walking out my faith even in the midst of a battle, that they will want to have a stronger relationship with their savior. That they will move beyond me in their faith and live for the LORD, set apart and peculiar.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

How Much Soap Do You Have In Your Storage Area?

How many of us have extra put up just in case? I personally have extra laundry soap, in case I run out and need a particular outfit so I look nice the next day for say. . . CHURCH. I also have about 4 tubes of unopened toothpaste, probably 10 bars of soap (no one in this house uses the same soap as anyone else-or shampoo for that matter), extra cleaning supplies, toothbrushes and of course COFFEEEEEEEEE! What do you need? I have probably have it for fear of running out.

We recently took in a beautiful 15 year old girl to our home. She has lived with me off and on her entire life and we started talking to her mom about letting us have her again about 6 months ago. Things in her life had been deteriorating for some time but her mom wasn't able to let her go again, she needed her to take care of her toddler brother because her mom couldn't.

At this time, the two brothers are deposited in other homes. One has been in his current home for a few years and sees his mom sporadically. He hasn't seen her in a few months at the time I'm writing this. The 3 year old is living with his father and she had been dragging this poor girl around living in their car and staying with this person and that person in less than safe environments.

The girls father is currently out of prison but is well on his way back for drugs. She has spent some time with him recently and been abused by him and went with him to "hustle". My fear is that he will have her turning tricks for drug money like he did her mother. He has been in prison most of her life.

This sweet child came to us with nothing more than the clothes on her back. She only had a grocery bag of clothes with her mother but we haven't seen those. She has gone without for so long that it didn't occur to her to ask for a hairbrush, a toothbrush, deodorant or soap. After being taken in and told that her mom was going to let her live with us, she still couldn't ask for things that are basic needs for everyone else. She even asked for permission to take a shower. It really just breaks my heart.

When I was registering her for school today, I was listening to her talk to the guidance councilor about how the last couple of years have been for her in school. I realized how much she was affected by being born addicted to crack. She struggles so hard with learning in school. She has such high hopes for her career-a marine biologist- yet, she struggles with math and science. This morning, we got her a referral for testing to see if there was anything we could do to help her learn so she could live her dream.

Sunday morning, our pastor hugged her and told her he loved her and she just started crying. She needs love so much.

I am totally awestruck for lack of a better word. The teenagers that I'm in contact with are more concerned about cell phones and ipods than soap and deodorant. Current fashions are all the rage with the girls I know.

She has been blessed with clothes. She has more clothes than our own kids now. We had all the basic things in the linen closet that she might need like soap, deodorant, razors etc. I have 6 people in our home so I shop in bulk most often. :) She is signed up for school and taking classes that she needs with the expectation of help when she needs it-a new concept for her.

Her life changed dramatically in one week because my husband stepped out and stepped up. This has made me think about all the extras we have, even though we are struggling financially and the people who don't have "the basics". My children will think twice when they think they "need" their cell phone. Needs take on a different perspective now.

I pray that God will show me a need as it arises and help her to share her needs with us so we can help her. I pray that God will give me wisdom in dealing with her and put people in her path that help her grow and be the person God created her to be. I pray that my children will see what a blessing they are to her and be blessed by her as well. I pray for strength and guidance in protecting her from things of her past and her families generational issues. I pray that God touch her and heal her and let her feel the love we have for her and all the love she so desperately needs and deserves.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

An Update

My uncle who has cancer accepted Christ this week! Praise the Lord!

The rest of the family is claimed and waiting!

I just keep crying, I'm so happy!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

More Randomness

Have you ever wanted to just jerk a knot in someones tail? Snatch 'em bald? Fire 'em up? Light 'em up? It has just been that kind of day. I NEED TO GET ALONE WITH GOD!! SOON!!!

The Bible is very clear on a lot things. Where issues are crystal clear, wrong is wrong. Where it isn't crystal clear due to silly things like"that wasn't around in Bible times", don't twist other verses to fit your needs. It doesn't work, wrong is still wrong.

If you live your life in a way that says, "I'm looking forward to the party in hell!!! WHOOO HOOOO!" Then don't expect to not have consequences.

Don't expect a preacher to preach a funeral for someone that never stepped foot in a church or even entertained the idea of doing so and know stories about the person's life. If the person didn't go to the church, know the preacher then, there is no way for the preacher to have any stories. You can tell the preacher stories to tell, but he still may not get all the details right. That is life.

Yes, a good pastor IS going to tell you when your wrong. It's his job, especially if you are a member of his church. If he doesn't take a stand against sin and only tickles your ear with what you want to hear he is accountable to God. Sorry, I'm not going to let you continue in sin that way either if I know it's wrong. I will tell you in love, I do sometimes lack tact. That's life too. I love you but your gonna have to get over yourself.

Whooo, I feel so much better!

God is still dealing with me about my testimony. I'm still working on it, kind of. I need to rewrite it all so that it is what He wants. Then it will appear here. I hope I don't scare anyone.

God has also put something in my heart (again) that He wants me to do. I feel like when Jesus told his mom, "my time has not yet come". I asked that God make the path clear and tell me when to step out and I will. I'll do it afraid or otherwise. (I'm usually too stupid to be scared until everything is over-lol) I think my next step is to write it all out and make it clear. Please pray for me if you think about it.

Be blessed!

Saturday, August 15, 2009


Ok, they are mostly from the pool but it was great fun for them! I had on spf 50 sunscreen and spent less than 45 minutes in the sun and still got sunburned! I hate that about me because I don't tan afterwards, I just go back to glow in the dark white!

Daddy dunking the girls on the floatie! lol

Daddy teaching the Tazinator to swim because he has no fear and kept doing cannon balls!

Throw that boy like a rag doll honey! He loves it that way!

We fed the ducks and invited the campers next to us to feed them with us. They loved it!

We had fun, I was still in an air cast for my ankle and I found that I had more gray hair than I thought! :( Thanks Girls for pointing that out!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Amazed and Saddened

Family is hard.
My family is really hard.

My cousin called me today. She is caring for her father who will be passing away soon from cancer. I've been there. Taking care of my mom while she passed from this world while taking care of a new born baby (and 4 other children) and my husband who had a heart attack the day we brought my mom to our home to be cared for and he had open heart surgery two days later. As horrible as my experience seemed, hers' is much worse.

As I listened to her vent today, I realized, perhaps for the first time, the amount of pain in her heart. It just broke my heart. The pain isn't just from the current situation she is in, caring for her dying father while homeless with 2 children because of her alcoholic mothers actions. Her mother is doing things to her that are beyond comprehension for me or anyone who ever knew her. And I found myself wondering, "what happened to her (my cousin)?" She is in so much pain but it only comes out as venom and rage.

I know the basic road she has traveled, the obstacles she overcame beyond all odds-really amazing. She doesn't see that. She doesn't see that she is strong because she doesn't feel it. How often have I felt that way. Weak, useless, hopeless, helpless. The difference between us is that I know who I am, where my hope is, that my weakness makes my God shine brighter.

During the toughest trials I have survived, I knew that my God was with me. I knew that my Father had everything under control and I was safe even if I didn't feel like it. She doesn't have that, neither does her father or mother. Both of her parents steeped in addictions, something their daughter escaped from (after giving birth to 2 kids who were born addicted to cocaine) but not their 2 sons.

My cousin "knows" God loves her but doesn't see that only His power can help her. He came to heal the broken hearted. Her broken heart, but she won't hear of it.

I'm just so saddened by the entire situation and driven to my knees in tears for all of them.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I found this today

I found this story and thought I would share it. You can read it here-

For people like me who just want to read it and not go through a link, I also copied and pasted here.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Sleep When the Wind Blows

Years ago, a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast.He constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people werereluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic. They dreaded theawful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he receivedA steady stream of refusals.

Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approachedthe farmer. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked him."Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man.
Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him. The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work.Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up! A storm is coming! Tie things down before they blow away!"The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows."

Enraged by the response, the farmer was tempted to fire him onthe spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm.To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks hadbeen covered with tarpaulins. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred.The shutters were tightly secured. Everything was tied down.Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what hishired hand meant, so he returned to his bed to also sleep whilethe wind blew.When you're prepared, spiritually, mentally, and physically,you have nothing to fear. Can you sleep when the wind blows through your life?

The hired hand in the story was able to sleep because hehad secured the farm against the storm.We secure ourselves against the storms of life bygrounding ourselves in the Word of God.We don't need to understand, we just need to hold His hand to have peace in the middle of storms.

Monday, August 3, 2009

A Little About Me

I was encouraged by a fellow blogger to tell a little about me. You can read her entry here- . Scary stuff really, how much do other people really want to know? How much do I really want to share? Hummm....

Family Stuff:
I'm a wife and mother. We are a blended family put to gether by God. I have a grown son who is a Marine and just returned from Iraq a few months ago. My sweet husband is a truck driver. We struggle with stuff daily, all of us. I have 2 teenage daughters and 2 younger boys at home. One teenage daugter in Florida and one son now in California on base. I didn't give birth to all of them but they are mine just the same. My step children have been with me more of their lives than they were with their mother, except for the one who lives in Florida. She decided that she preferred to live with her mother because she was treated like an adult and was allowed to do things there that we wouldn't allow. It took a long time and some erroneous counseling for us to let her go back to her mother. We have seriously regretted that decision. That story is about 8 posts alone.

There is a lot to be said about unequal yoking. I've lived it and in some ways still do. I have had to be the spiritual head of the home for some time now as my husband abdicated his position early on. Since we have been going to this new church, my husband has had a fire in him that I have never seen! Praise the LORD! He is now taking his rightful position and I couldn't be more pleased! I am still stronger spiritually but my husband is growing by leaps and bounds and I don't think that will be the case much longer. I couldn't be more happy about that either. We seem to be getting stronger in different areas though. I really hated taking that position and I spent years trying to get him to take it. yeah, another 8 posts there too.

I'm a Bible believing, praying, worshiping woman. I'm a Full Gospel, Pentecostal kind of gal. I believe in the gifts of the spirit, laying on of hands, annointed oil and speaking in tounges. I do all of that and then some. I also believe that what we see happening isn't always what's going on. There are things going on in the spiritual realm that affect the natural. (powers and principalities and all that warring with the one true God) I also believe in spiritual warfare because I have seen it, lived it and watched God move in it.

Ten years ago I was a straight up heathen. You really didn't want to mess with me then. I was not a good person in a lot of ways. I was quite damaged from my past, bound in sin, full of anger, and saw no way out or any reason to change. yeah, that transformation is another 8 posts. Praised God! He picked me up and cleaned me.

I will tell you what I think whether you want to hear it or not so don't ask unless you're able to handle the truth. I try to be tactful but it really isn't my nature. God's working on that. I have a "fighting spirit" for lack of a better way to put it. I had to fight most of my life just to live and it's sort of ingrained. Perfect for intercessory prayer though.

I mess up, often. Get frustrated with myself, pray about it and move on. I am learning to lean on God more and to stop making decisions and then ask God for His blessing on it. I forgive easily and forget transgression against me very quickly. That frustrates my husband. I think he forgets that some of those wrongs that are done to me include him. LOL I don't get caught up in the little things that make people mad. I can over look quite a bit. If I do get angry or frustrated, I stop and ask myself how big it is in the grand scheme of things and is it me. And sometimes it is me!

I love to cook and most of the things I cook are from scratch. I've tried to pass that down to my daughters. One just doesn't have the focus to complete any meal that takes time. Bless her heart. I also sew, crochet, do all kinds of other crafts. Usually only in the winter since the late spring, summer and early fall are spent in the garden and canning etc.

I love to write here and be social but it isn't the main focus of my life. So many other things come first that there are times when it takes me a while to get back to writing. I often think of things but by the time I have time to write, I've forgotten the idea. LOL

I love comments and want to respond to them all. (Not that many people read my ramblings so it's not that hard of a thing to do :) ) I can't do that without an email address and sometimes it's just not appropriate to post a response to a post on their blog. So, if you have left a comment. I love it and thank you and I'm sorry if I haven't gotten back to you. One of my bloggy friends does some sort of link back but I'm too blog illiterate to do that or to add buttons to my blog! lol I would love to learn to do that! :)

Be Blessed

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Where Do I Start?

I have been so in awe of the awesomeness of my God. For the last two weeks I have seen my heavenly Father move like a mighty rushing wind all over the place! I soooo want to tell everyone all the things that have been happening but I am totally at a loss as to where to start. I guess this post will be a bit random too.

After 8 years at our church, we have been released to go elsewhere. Two weeks ago we found our new home church. We tried one other church, my husband liked it but I had serious issues with some things. It also seemed like we were at a youth group meeting at every service. Spiritually, I need meat, not milk-if that makes sense. I need something deeper than surface text preaching.

The new church suits all of our needs and the pastor and the youth pastor are totally on FIRE! The youth is on FIRE and I would have any of them pray for me. It is an awesome thing to see the youth so on fire with a deep relationship with the Savior. Sunday was youth Sunday and the youth ROCKED the house! Sunday evening, they did it again and by the end of the evening service, God showed up in a way that I can only describe as a sonic boom! Not one person left untouched. Even my little Taz got down on his little knee and was praying. I just have to say it, please excuse the saying if you don't understand it, "I never seen da beat".

I've seen my husband "man up" in a way that I have been praying for over the last several years. He is teaching the boys to be godly men and to pray and worship. He is teaching them God's word and I am so excited I can't see straight. The boys need a good godly man to show them. I'm proud to say that my husband is now that man.

I go to church and keep threatening to bring the marshmallows. I can put them on a stick and hold them out as the pastor goes by and get a good roast on! God has been answering prayers left and right and providing in ways I never even thought about.

I am so proud to be a child of the Most High GOD! I praise His name for all He has done and all He will do.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Total and Complete Randomness

I have about a million ideas of what I wanted to write about. Now that I have a minute to write something, my little brain is empty. So I thought, random musings from today.

  • Last night I read the first 8 chapters of Daniel. Have you ever just read it to read it??? You need a score card, a player list with name definitions, a timeline, map, and a chart to keep up with who, where and when. Wait...wasn't that king just dead??
  • I love the Psalms. I love to try to put them to music. I, personally, couldn't carry a tune in a bucket and I'm tone deaf! But I still try.
  • Song of Songs is HOT!
  • My little Taz told me the other day that he was going to build me a prayer room on the roof when he "gets bigger enough." How cute is he??
  • My D has been helping me can food most of the summer. Bless her heart! She has no interest in anything that could be construed as home making.
  • I miss winter because I get to sew, crochet and what ever other craft stuff I come up with. Summer has it's fun too but by the end of summer, I need something restful! :) I just don't really care for the cold weather.
  • I really would like to have a comfy chair in the kitchen. I spend a lot of time there and would like to just go ahead and make it home with a nice place to sit and read my bible etc.

I guess that's random enough.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Garden Update-July

This is mostly just pictures of the garden. I think they are pretty self explanatory if you have been following the garden.

Got our first tomatoes. Delish!

First harvest of greenbeans. First fruits went out and the rest went into the freezer. I have more that I'm canning today.

He is so cute. You can't hold him with one hand anymore!

This was just to show how tall the corn is. She is 5'3". That is my Destini in the picture. Not by her own free will of course.


Are you ready to go out and pick dinner?? I am!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

My Tabernacle Ramblings

Have you read the account in Exodus about the tabernacle? I have read it many times. I just love that story. Every piece has some sort of meaning, or significance. But I feel like we, as modern day readers, are missing something. We don't know the history, or what life was really like back then.

I've read books and watched studies on the tabernacle. They all focused on the finished product. What about what went into it?

The Bible is very simple in it's explanation to me. God called for an offering from His people of certain things, from those who had a willing heart. The people brought it. This is how God wants it built, He gave this person or that person the talent needed. It was built. Ok the Bible is a little more explicit with details and dimensions.

I was driving the other day was started thinking just about the thread. Purple and scarlet threat and linen. Well, they certainly couldn't just run off to wal mart and buy it. It had to be spun and died and put in some sort of usable order. What did it take to dye it? They had to gather berries or what ever they used to dye thread. Make the dye. How large were the containers that they needed to dye the thread? Did they have to carry them around when they moved from place to place?

It seems to me, that the sacrifice of the people was more than you would think from reading the text. God said, those to give from a willing heart. How much thread to you think it took to make all those curtains? They were enormous, you know. I believe, don't quote me here, the dimensions for the curtains were 42 feet by 6 feet. They were very ornate with cherubim weaved into the fabric. These were to be for the house of God, for His pleasure and view.

Do you think the Israelites skimped? I sure don't! I think about the amount of time and love that had to go into those curtains. I would have loved to have seen them. I think that if God is going through this much trouble to give specifics about the design, the dimensions, the contents and ingredients, giving the talents and calling those out to design it, I think that it would be magnificent! I believe that it would have been the best workmanship and artistry available at that time, and possibly even now! I just can't see God doing it half way, not for His home among His people.

I would love to have seen the furniture and the alters. Can you imagine how ornate the lamp would have been? or the table of show bread? the incense alter? I imagine that the entire thing would have been a wonder! And then too see God's glory resting over it! Wow! I just get excited all over again!

I love when I read stories in the Bible and I can get a mental picture, but I love this story because I can't. I can't even imagine how awesome it would have been, I can only speculate because there are no real details about how these things looked when they were done. What did the lamp look like? or the table? I hope to see it replayed when I get to heaven so I can see it all. See the love the people had for their God and that God had for his grumbling, stiff necked people. And the home built for the Creator of the Universe, to be with His people. To see how He loves us, even when we are unlovable at times.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Crockpot Faith

I love my crockpot. It's one of my favorite tools in the kitchen. You just put the food in and go on about your business for a while. After a time, it's done. No real work required. No turning the meat or stiring (usually). Just put it in and wait.

I have often looked at some of the more mature women in our congregation and thought, "I want to be like her when I grow up." - yes I actually think that. There is one woman in particular that I so desire to have the faith and godly strength that she has. She is bold in the spirit and has the ability to really listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to her. She worships unashamedly at the alter and is a true prayer warrior. Yes, I would love to be like her when I grow up. Like the crockpot, that kind of faith takes time and heat.

Several years ago I heard Joyce Meyer say that "if you want what someone else has, you have to be willing to do what they did to get it." How simple and profound. What did this particular woman have to do to be the godly woman she is today? Am I willing to walk that same road?

That kind of faith doesn't come easy, now does it? She had to walk through many crisis where she depended soley on God. You grow in the valleys, not the mountain tops. The desert is where we are stretched and matured. Trial by fire.

It takes time. You can't just "put Jesus in your heart" and go on about your business until it's done. You can't have crockpot faith, it doesn't exist. To have that kind of faith in God, you have to go through the fires. You have to depend on Him, let him shape and mold you. Let him get rid of the things that are keeping you from His best.

I think we all want His best in our lives, but are we willing to go through the refining fire to have it? It's not easy, I can tell you that from experience, but it has always been worth it to me. I have always come out on the other end stronger, better and with a greater love for God than I had before. And. . . God has NEVER failed to use my trial to help someone else. That is the best part. It's never wasted.

Be blessed.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

My Garden Now

Time for a garden update. I have 3 other posts in the works but decided I liked this one best!

I fell down the stairs a couple of weeks ago and haven't been able to get around or even get up to the garden for a while so I was so excited when I hobbled up there the other day and saw how things have grown! (including weeds-lol)

This is a beet that I think may be ready to pick. I've never grown them before, so I'm guessing.

This is the potatoes that are begining to die back a little. It's about time to go get some of them too!

Green Beans and poke salad. You can't really see it here but the green beans are blooming so it won't be long until we are canning!!

My Pride and Joy. . . Our squash and zucchini. I planted them way too close. I have never had a squash plant get this big!! You can't really tell in the picture but they are up to my waist and full of veggies!

Another long shot of the garden where you can see most of it!

And of course, our first harvested vegetables! First fruits went out and many were sliced and frozen for future use! Aren't they gorgeous. I had forgotten what a difference there is in the taste of home grown vegetables. I do every year!

My Magnolia tree finally bloomed this year. It was planted by my grandfather when I was a child. I have been told that when a person who plants a tree dies, the trees etc. won't bloom for 2 years. It has been 2 summers since he passed so I guess it was time. I had told my uncle that if it didn't bloom this year it was probably going to be outta here! lol
This bloom hasn't opened yet. I just thought it was so beautiful!
Last but not least, the bucket brigade! Those upside down tomato plants. Luckily I have some in the ground too. They got blight and are very sad looking, even though they have fruit on them. I have been trying to keep the stems cut off that have it but I think the blight is winning. We will have to try again next year!
Be Blessed!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Complacency in Marriage


I have often put off paying attention to my husband. Bless his heart. He has patiently waited as I took care of the children only to be put off until the next day, and the next day, and the next day.

This post isn't about me, but it could be. I know the groping hand. It's attached to my husband, my gift.

The first years of our marriage were very "turbulent". As a survivor of extensive sexual abuse, I knew at a young age how to seduce to get what I wanted. I knew it was wrong, I knew it made me feel dirty, but I did it. Once God picked me up out of that and washed me, I became "prudish". I never wanted to feel dirty like that again.

My dear husband suffered for that. I knew that sex was good and expected in the marriage bed, I just didn't know how to do it without the guilt and shame. I would make love with my husband, then feel dirty and ignore his needs. If I had to guess, I would say it was a bit like living with Dr. Jekyl and Mrs. Hyde. He went without complaining.

I wrapped myself in mommy duties so I wouldn't have to address it. I knew that I was meant to be his helpmeet, I would read about how to be that, how to be a good wife, anything along those lines. I never found anything that addressed sex in marriage in a Christian way. Those "wifely" duties. Hummm. If it's good and helpful, why isn't it addressed. I knew I wasn't the only one who had ever had this problem. Most of the women I knew had experienced some of the same things. I hadn't met anyone who had experienced it to the extent I had, but there were many others.

I became complacent. (you can read "I ignored him" here) He felt unappreciated, unloved. I wanted to fix it, but I had no idea how. I knew I felt dirty if he touched me.


Lots of Prayer.

I never want to be complacent again. I never want that to be our normal way of life. That isn't God's will for a marriage.

We are still on this journey. Forgiveness is NOT easy. It takes work and prayer. I am learning to submit to him in this area still. At first, he was very confused. . . Bless his heart. I believe he is still waiting for "his other wife" to come back, though he won't admit it.

As I fumbled through this, God sent me what I needed. I finally found articles, radio shows that give tidbits on this, normally from a man's perspective. Hummm where are the women's perspectives??? I have friends who have gone through the same things, some just seemed to slip into that role easily without the craziness that I experienced.

Then I got this blog in my inbox!! Whoa!!! How excited was I!!! So far. . . I'm loving it. I feel like I'm on the journey to becoming the wife God meant for me to be. I know now that I'm on the right track and not quite so weird. I belive this blog will be a great help and I am just so excited that I had to share.

Now, paying attention to my hubby isn't always sexual. We went to Atlanta last Friday. We held hands and kissed. Walked around the Coke museum-if you don't like EVERYTHING Coke, don't bother, it was excruciating. (that was hubby's choice-I don't even drink coke products unless we are at a restraunt and I have no other choice) Then we went to the georgia Aquarium. My favorite place! We walked around, watched the fish, and listened to the jazz band they had that Friday night. We sat in one room that was like a movie theatre except the big screen was the aquarium. We sat there for probably an hour just watching the fish and talking. It was a wonderful day, spent with just the two of us.

Our next "date night", I want to spend the day in Cherokee, on the reservation. It's so hot this time of year that It's hard to be outside for too long. I'll see what hubby thinks!

Psalms 40:2-32 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,out of the mud and mire;He set my feet on a rockand gave me a firm place to stand.3 He put a new song in my mouth,a hymn of praise to our God.Many will see and fearand put their trust in the LORD.NIV

Did I share too much???

Be Blessed.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I used my Food Processor

I have this awesome, large food processor. I've had it for a few years. It's main purpose seems to be preventing dust from settling where it sits in the cabinet. I won't even leave it on the counter any longer due to lack of use. When I asked my daughter to take it down tonight for me to use, she was a bit shocked. It is usually not worth the trouble. I'm pretty fast with a knife. So, as I tend to do, I started thinking. How many of these "tools" do I own that I don't make use of.
  1. I have a blender that is used about 3 times a year. I have met that quota making protien shakes a few weeks ago to find that my youngest is allergic to soy. Back in the closet it goes.
  2. I have a hand held mixer. I want a stand mixer but since I rarely use this, would I really use a stand mixer? I basically want it to make bread dough that I seem to be making just fine by hand. I had a bread maker but after it sat for 2 years without being used, I donated it. I had only used it to make the dough before because I didn't like how the bread turned out when it was cooked in the thing.
  3. Measuring cups and spoons. . . Who uses these things??? I have a couple of sets. They make great scoops for getting flour out of the container, or coffee. I don't use these often enough for their intended purpose to justify replacing them.

So, I said all that to say this. . . How many bibles do you own? How many are just collecting dust? I have about 10 Bibles, a Bible dictionary, Strongs exhaustive concordance (that sucker is about 20 pounds). But how often to I use them. I have a million devotional books-anyone need one? My favorite Bible is my New King James Study Bible. I got it for Christmas 2003 along with the case I use to carry it. They are both falling apart. When I feel led to follow a thread so to speak that I come across in my reading, I might have 3 or 4 different versions of the Bible layed out infront of me, pens, paper whatever I need for my studying.

Monday, June 8, 2009

God is just so AWESOME!

I feel led by the Lord to share my testimony here. So I have been working on writing it. In doing so, I was able to see where I was, where God has brought me, and some things that God just hasn't completed in me.

Every need I had, He has provided for. As I worked on my testimony, I saw places where I still needed God to work, to bring healing and deliverance. Scary places that I wasn't sure I wanted to go again. I'm still on that journey, but I see God in it. Every need I had was taken care of. If I needed a friend to come along side and pray, that was provided. (I have some awesome friends who are just prayer warriors. I want to be like them when I grow up! Truely Titus 2 women.) If I needed someone to step in and give Godly advice (read correction here), it was provided with love. When I needed to read something to address a certain issue or bring light to it, I somehow "ran across" the right article, Bible passage, or radio show. There were battles as well. The enemy doesn't want us whole, healed, delivered. If he can keep us beat down with his lies, he can keep us from experiencing the best the LORD has for us.

I knew that for God to use my testimony, I had to be transparent. This was the most difficult thing I have ever written. I have poetry that I have written at some of the most difficult times of my life that don't even come close. I am now writing it 2 paragraphs at a time and I am not finished with it. My prayer is that I get through it and condense it but I feel I need to wait for the Lord for direction in that.

I guess I said all that to say, God has been there through every difficult step. He has provided for my needs and my families needs. He has been my shield and my fortress. I have learned to lean more on Him and less on me.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Garden Update!!

This is an update:
I am having so much fun with this. I love my garden, I love being in it and watching it grow. It has started getting hotter here so I have to go out early in the morning or late in the evening.

These are the daylillies my aunt and uncle gave me this year for my birthday. Aren't they cute!!

This is the Lily they gave me last year! Very pretty! It multiplied 4 times this year!

This is one of the bucket brigade. They are growing faster than I expected.

This is our corn. They aren't all the same hight. Don't know why.

This is zucchini. If you look really really closely you can see a baby zucchini. It's soooo cute!!! :)

This is an over view of the squash plants. They are bigger than I have ever grown and have lots of buds on them. I'm very excited, except they are all growing together. I don't know how that is going to affect them.

As you can see the cherry tree has cherries now. The birds and the boys are in an epic battle to see who will eat the most! My money is on the boys!

So thats it. I'm very excited about it this year. Much more than last year. Everything that has come up is doing so well and looks like I will be able to put quite a bit up this year. My girls will be helping me this year. One is quite reluctant but I think she will come around.
Be Blessed!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

More Garden Pictures

Time for new pictures from the garden. I took these about a week ago. Yep, it took me that long to get around to putting them here. Life has been busy!

Here are the strawberries! The chipmonks LOVE them!!! Taz has had 1!!
Zucchini and yellow squash. They are doing awesome! I was having an upclose look today and some have bud on them!!

Corn, and weeds! you can see a few zucchini on the top right. The corn is growing at different rates. Strange really. One might be 18 inches tall and the one beside it is like 6 inches tall.

This is my weed/dirt garden. There are a few onion sets at the bottom that are kind of doing something. Not really, the ones between the potatoes are about to bloom! Didn't pray over this one because it did so well last year. Just kind of added it flippantly to the prayer for the big garden. Big mistake!!! God has already shown me who to help with food from my garden. I'm so excited!

The bucket brigade. Tomatoes hanging from the frame my hubby made. They are growing like crazy! I am so impressed. Maybe next year we can try some other things besides tomatoes!

My Potatoes! They were planted in a 9 inch deep "gully". The dirt is stacked about 18 inches high on the plant. I stopped adding dirt when they bloomed. they are so pretty!

Beets for the hubby. I saw them today and they are huge!

Our garden has been so much fun this year. Our large garden is growing by leaps and bounds. Of course it is also growing poke salad. I could have an entire garden of the stuff if I wanted! In some places the weeds are out of control but now that the rainy season is almost over, I will be able to get to them. The kids have really enjoyed it too. Taz gets excited about helping in the garden. We still loose plants to his cause but of course it's worth it. He is learning so much!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Garden today

We have had nothing but rain and storms for days so as you can see, their is debri in the garden. Some of the green beans were washed up and we had to cover several of them back up. At the very end you can just barely see the potato mounds.

This is our baby corn! This is the first time we have seen it poking out of the ground. Ain't it cute!

This is one of our strawberry plants. I think we may have a few this year. Ignore the weeds please. They grow thanks to the rain too.

This is our baby squash. We have about 4 rows of squash. Love 'em!

Here are our potatoes. Wow have they grown! I ran out of dirt to cover them today! Looks like we may have a few potatoes this year.

baby beets! Hubby loves them.

I also took some pictures of the iris' and the cherry tree today too! BEAUTIFUL!